How Homework Saved My Life
Written by: Martha Hindley-Smith
What’s CBT, you ask?
CBT stands for cognitive behavioural therapy and it’s a really popular therapeutic modality. Well, it’s popularity waxes and wanes. I think that a lot of folks are put off by the “homework” aspect of it all. But take it from me – credentials: a student psychotherapist – that we give everyone homework, no matter the therapeutic modality we use!
Homework is like…working on yourself. It’s meant to give you the time and space between appointments for you to think about you! Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure there are psychotherapists out there who get really excited about homework. But I think that most of us just use it as a small part of therapy.
How did it save my life? Let’s get into it. The year was 2020. COVID-19 was taking the world by storm. We were all in lockdown. Some of us were still working full time (me!). Some of us were also terrified about this new virus nobody knew anything about (me!). I didn’t realize just how affected I was by the pandemic until I started waking up in the middle of the night with panic attacks. I’d never really had a panic attack before.
Learn more about panic attacks here!
So there I was, isolated from my family, and immersed in work at an incredibly busy veterinary clinic. I was often working 12-16 hour days and, add on to that fun cocktail, not sleeping. A friend recommended I try psychotherapy and I was lucky enough to meet Dora (that’s not her name). I say that I was lucky because you often go through a few different therapists before finding one who’s right for you. (Visit https://feelingsfirstwellness.ca/ to find a therapist who is right for you!)
Where was I? Right! I found Dora. She was actually a student therapist. I met with her weekly. She introduced me to ‘putting my thoughts on trial’ by using thought records. I’ll explain what they are and I’ll try to be brief.
A thought record example.
Let’s say you get really angry. That anger is going to spark a “hot thought” and you’re job is to put that hot thought on trial instead of letting that anger (and the negative thoughts that come with it) get to you. You jot down evidence for and against the thought. Oh! And don’t forget to rate your mood before and after the exercise on a scale from 1-10. In this example, 10 would be the absolute angriest you’ve ever been and 1 would be not angry at all. The idea is that the process of pulling apart this emotion and the thoughts that come with it will help to cool you from ‘real mad’ to ‘less mad.’
I diligently wrote down my strong emotion and the thoughts that came along with it. I went through the process of putting those hot thoughts (also called ‘automatic thoughts’) on trial. At first, I was annoyed that I couldn’t think of any evidence for or against my hot thoughts. It was frustrating! But as I got the hang of it, I didn’t need to write it down anymore. I could just play through a thought record in my head. The emotions I was dealing with at the time were very raw and very real. Sadness. Loneliness. Fear. And these emotions drove my body into a panic.
I am so thankful that I met Dora when I did and that she shared with me that tool to work through those tough emotions and the unfair thoughts that came along with them.
Trust me when I say: Homework isn’t always the worst!!
